Beyond Boombox Beanies & USB Mugs
Secret Santa at the office, Useless Gifts and Human Laziness
Have you ever heard of USB mugs?
They keep your coffee warm by plugging into the USB port of your computer. I've even heard some can stir your coffee automatically!
You know, the kind of thing you give to your colleagues for Secret Santa each year because you know them so well you're pretty sure they're coffee drinkers?
A few years back, while I was still working in the board game business, I got gifted a black cotton beanie with built-in headphones hidden in the elastic band. On the front, there was a faux leather patch with play, plus and minus control buttons. Just connect your smartphone via Bluetooth and "wow!", you've got music in your ears through your beanie! No need to put on an extra set of headphones…
90% of products on the market are inspired by human laziness.
Yes, I pulled that number out of my ass, so what? Stay focused.
These products address things commonly called as "pain points" in marketing.
The problem with addressing pain points with products, you see, is that it's a vicious cycle. The pain points keep getting less painful over time, while we get softer and softer.
Picture this:
Company "A" realizes that peeling carrots is a major barrier to your vegetable consumption (Between you and me, they don't give a damn whether you eat vegetables, they just want you to buy theirs).
So, wouldn't you know it, some genius at Grin Giant - let's call him Mike - takes a bunch of pre-peeled carrots and stuffs them in a plastic bag.
Grin Giant: 1
Pain point: 0
You then go on with your life, carrot-fed and hopeful - happy almost - having long forgotten the vegetable-peeler buried in your kitchen drawer.
But one day, out of nowhere, as you're grabbing a kitchen knife to cut through a bunch of Grin Giant pre-peeled carrots...
BAM!
Your hand freezes.
That's it, there’s no turning back.
Cutting carrots is officially a pain in the ass.
It takes forever, and you don’t have time.
So, Company B - or Mike, if he's been smart from the start - packages pre-cut carrots. Feeling inspired, he also adds shredded carrots to the new product line.
Where am I going with all this?
One day, we'll have to realize that each time we gift a USB mug or a music-playing beanie to a random colleague to impress the team with how witty we are, we're not just climbing the social ladder for a short ten minutes.
We're unconsciously validating the degeneration of the human race.
Since I admit this conclusion does not sound too "Feliz Navidad", I'll conclude by giving you an alternative gift idea.
You can offer it now, and no need to buy it. See? That's marketing in action right there!
Instead of throwing "how you doin" and "good evening" all around, why not ask your colleagues what brings them joy in life?
Maybe you'll find that behind the fellow hunched-over coffee drinker hides a human being just like you, waiting to share what could inspire a thoughtful and heartfelt gift next time Christmas comes around.